im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
