Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
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