I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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