I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
