went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
last night I used snow as a chaser
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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