Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
