Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
