I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
