were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
