I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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