I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
