that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
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so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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