The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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