11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
