Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
