you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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