I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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