we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
