i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
