I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
