so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'm just crazy horny about you
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
