i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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