how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Randomize
