I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
