he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
