I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
