Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
