Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
