I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
thus making me awesome and them whores
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
