You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize