Your face is a jimmy john
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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