I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Randomize