end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
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