woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Randomize