I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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