Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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