Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
