i just google imaged poop.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
