Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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