is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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