How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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