i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
