they need to just BURY HIM!
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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