Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
