You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
