just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
