she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
