Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Randomize
