i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
