I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
