Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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