True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
