Jerry, you need to find god
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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