Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
