Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
