I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i may or may not be watching the land before time
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
