i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
