Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Randomize
