How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
