I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
No more Irish car bombs ever.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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