Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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